Pre-bed sum up

I'm headed off to bed, but I wanted to share a couple of things I'm pretty stoked about:

1) First day of school was fine. I sat down in my first class and had the feeling like it'd only been a few days since I'd been in school last, and not three years. I also felt a bit of dread... but I'm just going to own it, power through it, take in all the knowledge that I can and stay on top of it. Pushing through situations that aren't necessarily desirable helps to build strength for big situations.
2) My body feels fantastic. Great workout tonight, and I feel vitalized and energized after it -- I was totally dragging before it. I also feel much more buoyant. There's so much great energy there during the workout and the chill hang-out sessions afterward. Everyone there is just fantastic, and I'm grateful to be part of that in any way.
3) My new laptop came today, and it's loverly! This is officially the de-virginizing blog. Pop!
4) I've been feeling pretty down intermittently. So here's what I've decided: I'm going to try and keep my thoughts as positive as possible as often as possible, even if I have to fake it sometimes. That's not to say that I'll be perfect about this, and I certainly don't want people pointing fingers at me; I'm going to do my best and this is my own personal challenge. Positive thought definitely directly contributes to positive interactions and positive outlook. I am my own mentor in the end, as well. Gotta do what I gotta do!

Hope everyone has a great night/day -- cheers!

Nerves 'n stuff

My first day of school is tomorrow. I'm looking forward to being a student again and to being pushed intellectually and mentally in that way... I'm kind of nervous too. It's been three years since I've been in school! That's so strange to think about. I feel that I spent that time very well though, and I'm going to totally own this.

Gonna do a workout with the 'bells and lounge afterwards with my book in the sun. Yum yum.

Interesting encounters

I don't even know how to begin this post. I can't think of a good first sentence for whatever reason. I guess this'll do.

Something I just want to share: A friend of mine contacted me out of the blue on Tuesday and gave me a mission to get out of the house immediately and do something I'd never done before. I'd been thinking about how people are so afraid of other people -- how often do you walk down the street and people avert their eyes so they don't meet yours? So I went downtown with my little brother to the farmer's market with a 'Free Hugs' sign and gave free hugs to whoever was "brave" enough to get one. It was awesome! I gave hugs to people from all over the world -- one woman was from Portugal, another family from Chicago, a girl from New York, another couple from London, another from Argentina. Some people commented on how fantastic it was that we were doing what we were doing; others wanted pictures; and then others were just so grateful for a hug. One elderly man I gave a hug to, when I asked how he was doing, he sighed and said, "Oh, better now... thank you so much, I really needed that," and truly seemed the better for a simple hug. How easy is that?

A gentleman came up and gave me a hug with his sister in mind, he said, and my brother a hug with his brother in mind. He was a bit scruffy, looked like he might be homeless, seemed like a nice guy. He started talking about how he's the Comedic Priest for some underground church, and how he's going to destroy Hollywood with his own movie making... okay, that's fine, high ambitions are good. He asked why I was doing what I was doing, and I told him that we were trying to get people to step out of their fear and just realize that coming from a place of openness and love is the way to go.

"Yeah, but hate is real good, too," he says. I told him that I feel hate is just fear that is so vulnerable that it requires an emotional furnace to keep it alive. All of a sudden though he turns real aggressive. "Oh is that so, huh? You know SOOOO much. Who are you, some guru and I'm your pupil? Who are you to tell ME shit?!" I told him I wouldn't dare to presume to be a guru of any sort. "Oh, haha, look at you! Trying to be wise and shit. Hate is POWERFUL, fuck love! Love doesn't do shit for anyone but FUCK YOU UP! So FUCK YOU and fuck your love!" I told him that I wished him well with that mentality. He gets in my face. "Oh, now your passing judgements on me, huh?" Turns to the farmer's market. "LOOK AT HER JUDGING ME! SHE LIKES TO THINK SHE'S COMING FROM LOVE, BUT SHE'S JUDGING ME!" He turns back to me and I seriously thought he was going to try to hit me -- at this point I'm already on my guard and in a stance to be able to defend myself. At this point I would really have loved to crack him in the balls, but that would've been sort of against what I was down there for, haha... so I just tell him that I'm not judging him, and I'd like to keep the energy positive so if he could please go on with his day that would be awesome. Now, I'm proud of myself at this point, because what he says next makes my eyes almost pop out of my head. "You know what? You're Morgaine, and I've met Guinevere, but I'm fucking Lancelot, so you and I have a rivalry, don't we?" Um, no, I don't think we do, actual-- "Fuck you and your love. You're just a woman. You like to think you're so great, but in reality, THE IGNORANCE OF WOMEN WILL BE THE DEATH TO ALL MANKIND! You're SO damn ignorant, you're all scheming!" and he continues to spout off shit even after I've turned away from him. He finally starts walking away, taking people aside and pointing at me and saying that me and my kind will be the death of all.

To be honest, this interaction just bummed me out because, hell, I wonder what happened in his life to make him so damn bitter? How does he justify trying to deface what I was doing? (I'm thankful that he left my brother out of it, at least -- my inner mama bear would've had to kick some ass.) Anyway, it was obvious that he wasn't quite right in the head, and I've heard enough derogatory statements about women that it was less than a shock.

Take responsibility for your own emotional baggage, man.

On another note, RIBBON DANCING FINALS! As much as I like to bag on ribbon dancers because, c'mon, ribbon dancing... they really are pretty fantastic. Those girls can bring their feet up to their faces from behind while dancing. That is insane!

Oh and, I can snatch a 24 kg 'bell now for reps -- suh-weet. I also came across some pictures from a couple of years back and I couldn't believe the differences I've made. I love carrying muscle, and this leaning down process has been amazing. I do swear by KBs now whenever anyone asks me what it is that I do to train... my arms, quads, glutes, and especially my core is more solid than it ever was when I was just training with free weights at the gym. AMAZING stuff, I can't get enough of it.

Now is a beautiful time.

I was driving home late last night from a friend's house after watching 'Magnolia' and had a lot of different issues on my mind. I felt equally weighed down and inspired by my thoughts and the ideas that the film presented. Really, really great film, for any who haven't seen it.

As I got nearer to my house, a dense fog was settled. It was about 2 AM, the moon was bright and high, and there are no other lights around where I live to drown it out. The fog was so thick and the moon so brilliant that the moon glow was reflecting blue and silver off of the mist, lighting up the hillsides and the air itself. I stepped out of my car and stood there alone for a good long while, my head back and my arms spread out, drinking it in deep.

No matter what's going on in life, no matter how crazy or painful or frustrating it may be, spectacles of natural everlasting beauty always bring me back to that place of being centered and impenetrable, especially when no one else is around.

I visited my sister's grave today and took her some flowers. I looked around at all of the different life spans that people there have lived... some were 80 or 90 years long, and some only 17 months, like my sister's. Life is so unpredictable -- how can anyone assume that there will be time to do that important deed in awhile from now? How can we dare to put everything off for another, more convenient time? When is it the perfect time to strive for your great potential? When is it time to START LIVING?

Now. Now is a beautiful time.

Well, I didn't do 100...

I did 150 with the 16kg 'bell, instead! Not so big a deal in the big picture, but I'm pleased with myself, and my hands are triumphantly shredded. I did a ladder scheme:
1 rep right hand, 1 rep left hand, 2 reps right hand, two reps left hand, etc.

I did that up to 10 reps which took me to 100 and decided to push myself a bit further, so then I did 10 reps again, then after that I did sets of 5 reps.

I'll tape it next time to make sure my form stays solid. For now I'm just happy that I did it!

BEAT!

After kettlebells on Monday, Strength and Conditioning class on Tuesday, and some gnarly DLs yesterday, my body is feeling it. So tomorrow I'm going to snatch a 16kg kettlebell 100 times.

Eeeeexcellent.

I am open

I release, and open myself completely. Everyone and everything: teach me all that you know! I want to learn, I want to be greater, I want to be more! I will devour it all with humbleness and ceaseless ferocity. Shit, just bring it!!!

I get it.

I really, really get it.  Now remember it!

Gooood shit!

You know, I find that there's something equally comforting and oddly exciting to living out an "old faithful" sort of scenario.

I drove up to Paso Robles on Tuesday to visit relatives that I have there.  One family in particular owns a ranch with a lot of acreage and have their own vineyard as well.  On this ranch they have horses, cattle, dogs, cats, chickens, and a toad named Cornelius. <--(Yes, Corny is important, too).

As it got to be a little later in the day, and after screwing around in the pool with my cousins, I decided to take one of the ATVs around the property.  There happened to be a rifle holster of sorts attached to the ATV, which made me want to shoot.  Buddy, my cousins' yellow lab, jumped up behind me though and decided he wasn't going anywhere unless it was with me.  So with a dog at my back, a rifle at my side, and an ATV between my legs, I set off to roaming the ranch.

Old faithful, indeed.  My shoulder was good and soaked after awhile from Buddy's exciting salivating, though I was just happy to have a dog around me again.  

 Honestly, here's my ideal:  Live out an adventurous, FUN, exciting life, and when I get to a settling down sort of age, settle down on my own ranch and have my own livestock that I care for and grow most of my own food.  Then again, I might just want to be as crazy as I can be for as long as possible!  This is my conflict: Plan it, or wing it?

Look at this snarfle beast: Have you ever seen a more beautiful mug than Kelly's?  I loooove the bullydogs!

The next day I hefted several hundred pounds of firewood into the back of a pickup in 97 degree heat with my cousin, and then did a kettlebell work out later on.  I love this stuff, all of it!

I'm getting sort of apprehensive about my upcoming schedule once school starts.  I'm making it a point to continue going to kettlebells and strength and conditioning classes still.  Monday and Wednesday my days will be going from 8:00 - 5:30 with school alone, with a Friday morning class as well, and with those additional classes my days will be pretty damn full.  I'm also going to be taking a Sports Massage class Thursday nights from 5:30 - 10:00, while continuing to do massage clinics during the days where I can fit them in.  I'm looking forward to all of this, and the big days will be worth all that I'm going to get in -- I'm just going to be efficient as all hell.  Wait... hell is efficient, yeah?  I imagine it'd have to be managed pretty well... well, I'll stick with what I said.

I do wish I had time to fit Capoeira in there, though... I've been thinking about it a lot again lately.

Time to go outside!

RKC Cert. in LA

Yesterday I drove down to L.A. with Tim and Rusty to volunteer at the RKC certification course.  I was totally stoked from the get-go as I've gotten more and more obsessed with RKC.  As soon as we see the field, the first thing we're able to pick out is a huge group of people in brightly-colored clothes.  My first thought was, "Hmm... not quite what I expected..."  Then we round the corner, and see another horde of people, but these are dressed mostly in black and it looks like they're standing in a battlefield of wounded little iron soldiers.  Hell YES!

I felt like a kid in a candy store.  The three of us sat for awhile and just watched the work outs -- I wanted to play, too, damn it!  Seriously though, being there was a fantastic experience despite only getting a handful of hours to be a part of it.  The energy was riding high despite how exhausted the participants must have been after nearly three whole days of pain and of getting their asses kicked to a whole new dimension.  I really felt honored to be there amongst all of the participants and the instructors, as well.  Pretty awesome that I can say that I perfected my snatch technique under the tutelage of Dan John.  The truth is, is that I know I'll be there.  Without a doubt I'm going to go through with the RKC cert.

The thing that's so funny to me is that when I went up to Pavel to introduce myself and to tell him how much I admire him, I got SO tongue-tied.  Shit, I never get tongue-tied around people.  I've met other "big names" before, but for some reason I felt completely humbled and my brain stopped functioning properly.  I stumbled through it though and I think I said what I meant to say?  Haha, poor Doug, I was still in a state of awe when I went over to him and went to shake his hand with uncharacteristic cordial formality.  I got a funny look for that, and a bumper sticker that's going on my car today.

I also got to hand-pick two 16kg kettlebells from the lot, already battle-tested by the participants.  I picked my new babies with TLC, and am looking so forward to training with them with sweat and pain.

Class tonight is going to rock, I can't wait!  Thanks to Tim and Rusty for the fantastic company, conversations and for sharing in such a great day.  And thanks to Doug who has shared his passion for RKC with me and so many others.  I'm honored to be your student!