Know yourself

You know it's been a good few day of workouts when your arms are still pumped 6 hours after your last workout ended.

Or maybe this is a bad thing. Given the choice, I'll interpret it in a positive light, m'thinks.

Life has been incredibly busy, and very interesting, to say the least. Between all that's going on with school and training and various changes in my life, I feel like it's been ages since I simply sat and had nothing I had to be doing, or somewhere I needed to be. It feels sometimes like there's always people that expect me to be a certain way, or do certain things, and if I fail to adhere to their expectations then I'm nothing. In the past this would have bothered me, particularly if the people were individuals that I cared about. Yet I find as time goes on, that I have less and less tolerance for such self-serving behavior. I make no claims of being perfect, nor of knowing the best way of things; yet if I've given my all to a situation and know that I have, and there is still toxic energy there, then I have no problem letting it go.

Despite this though, I'm so happy. I feel fulfilled and complete on so many levels, in so many dimensions, and the busyness is good in most aspects. I certainly need to remember to stop and take a breath, as it's my tendency to forget to do this... but I'm happy. Very happy.

This week has been solid workout-wise, despite taking a couple days off in the middle. Monday night consisted of the RKC graduation workout done by participants of the San Jose RKC Cert.: with your snatch-weight bell (16kg for me), 1 snatch, 1 rack squat, one press, and 10 two-handed swings. Rest the bell down until the instructor says go, and switch sides. We ended up doing it for 25 minutes straight, which was doable -- I just have a tendency to sweat and melt. I probably could've done another 10 minutes though. This was after TGU and for the life of me I can't remember what else we did.

I didn't train Tuesday or Wednesday.

Thursday was BJJ, and it was a really good class. I'm loving the art more and more as I become further exposed as time goes on. I also received my second stripe in class, which was pretty neat.

Friday I did the SJ grad workout again for 20 minutes, followed by a few sets of double cleans and double snatches with 16 kg KBs. Later on I went bouldering at the climbing gym.

Today was brutal. KB class was full of grinds -- low rep sets of MP, BUP cleans and presses, renegade rows, heavy double front squats, bear crawls in the sand, side-stepping walking swings, overheard carries. This was all on the beach, and it was beautiful and warm and I certainly can't complain. I was a bit melty after class though, and decided to dive into the water to cool down. I walked out until I was almost waist deep and came upon a storm drainage pipe that was exposed due to the low sand levels. I walked up to it, stared at it for a few moments, and walked right back to shore. Talk about a turn off!

After this I drove to Ventura and attended a BJJ seminar, led by Daniel Gracie. There was a lot of great information offered, and it's always a pleasure to learn more and have the opportunity to become further educated about BJJ. He certainly knows an immense amount about the art of BJJ, and it was fantastic to be able to learn some of it.

I was at the seminar for about two hours, and by the end of it I had run out of gas. My arms were SO PUMPED!, and I just felt physically toasted. I didn't eat enough last night, and I didn't have a chance to have anything after KB class. A little Muscle Milk did the trick though, so no worries.

As far as the Warrior Diet goes... things are going well. It is interesting though: I've gained 7-8 lbs. scale weight since I started. Yet I don't notice anything physically different, except maybe I'm a little leaner in the midsection. So I'm not quite sure what's going on there, I'm going to have to tweak things a bit and see what's up. My energy has been good though, and overall I'm really enjoying it. The last few days have been a little tougher for me to not eat during the day because my whole family is home and I'm constantly surrounded by food and snacking -- I'm sticking to my guns, though.

As I said, the entire family is in town, so it's a full house with all seven of us here. I adore my family, and it's always a special time when we're all together -- who knows what that'll happen again, considered we're all over the country. Below are a couple pictures of the clan.

Quickie.

Just for fun.

-18 snatches, 10 R/ 8 L, with 24kg 'bell.
After 2 minutes of rest:
-16 snatches, 8 R / 8 L, with 24kg 'bell.

Warrior Diet's going fine, haven't seen much in the way of physical changes yet. Will be playing around with details over the next couple of weeks.

Warrior Diet and workouts

Just to document this a bit:

I'd been thinking about starting the Warrior Diet for about 8 months before I actually went for it. As I said before, I hadn't really read any testimonials or heard of any experiences that women had on the Warrior Diet, and so I was hesitant to start without knowing more. After talking with Ori at the LA Fit Expo though, my questions and doubts were answered and alleviated, and as I felt my body needed a change of pace diet-wise, I decided to go for it.

I've been on the Warrior Diet for eleven days now. Thus far, it's actually gone quite well, and I've definitely noted some changes:

- I've noticed a marked difference in my energy levels throughout the day, which are far more consistent than they had been.
- My sugar cravings, which were always an issue, are next to nothing since I've been on the diet. If I really do want something sweet, it's more of a choice than the feeling that I need to scratch some itch.
- I've lost scale weight, but am just as strong as I was if not stronger. I'm expecting the weight loss to continue now that my body has started to fully acclimate to the undereating/overeating process.

I've been eating during the day -- usually a piece of fruit with a low-glycemic index, and a couple handfuls of raw cashews a few hours later, or whey protein powder (Warrior Milk). As of this last Sunday though, which would have been day eight on the diet, my hunger pangs during the day have greatly decreased from what they were in the first few days. I've been drinking a minimum of 2.5 liters of water, upward to 4 liters.

As I implied, my workouts have been going quite well. I've been feeling solid in all of my workouts since I started the diet, both with kettlebells and in jiu-jitsu. In Monday night's class, we did heavy single rep TGU; I initially used the 24kg, which had been my max TGU weight for awhile, only to find that it was easy. When did that happen?? After doing 3 sets of 1 rep on both sides, I attempted a TGU with the 32kg. I was able to get up into the standing position from the ground, but lost tension and so didn't complete it. I'm fairly certain I could get it though if I were fresh -- bring it! I'll post about that when it happens.

At the end of the workout, I cleaned an 8o lbs. kb. My aim is to clean The Beast.

School is very busy but going well; pre-med is going to be something else. I'm excited about everything though, and feeling great.

On thoughts.

I am overcome by the possibilities of this world. I am in a state of hypersensitivity, where the smell of the fresh, green, just rained-upon earth makes my head swim, and the feel of chilly raindrops on the skin of my upturned palms sends a thrill through my core. And all it takes is simply stopping and listening. How much gets taken for granted each and every moment and millimoment.

I'd love to be always adventuring, constantly exposed to newness and growth in all of its forms, with a haven of familiarity and love to return to each night. I wish I could walk every inch of this earth and show her how much I adore her and want to explore and love every part of her body. I wish I could touch the lives of people everywhere and take away sorrow and pain; I long to help in some drastic way that would assist in turning this world towards healing, rather than destruction. How is it so incredibly difficult for some people to see that we're all one blood, one flesh, and indivisible fibers in the fabric of reality? How can we possibly hate, or long for another person's death? No, there will never be unconditional love for the entirety of the human race; it's rare enough as it is.

What if we always lived with intention, though? No, I can't always be traversing the world, not at this point in my life. Yet who's to say that I can't live with utter fulfillment and excitement for each day? It's one thing to let the current of routine pull you down the waterways of each day, body limp and subject to being battered by unseen obstacles and debris, before you're swept onto shore for the evening where you lay with the discomforts of the day. These wounds were given without your say, certainly; yet the nursing of them is now your responsibility, as was the choice to lay back and allow yourself to be drawn along.

We are all led by this current, there is no escaping that. It is an entirely different affair to choose to swim, to jump from boulder to boulder, than to be drawn along. Yes, you may slip and break a bone, or be hurt in some other way; if you're going to live this though, why not as fully as possible? You may hurt yourself substantially along the way, but you own it, and it was damn worth it. Make everything count! Even if you have to go to school all day, or work, or have a family to take care of, do it all with intention! Make each and every activity your own, and dedicate it to the cause of your own fulfillment, the benefit of someone else, the journey of growth, or anything that drives you. This life is yours to do with as you will; make happiness and love your own, as well.

End ramble. I hope all of you have a lovely day. Do something that moves you! :)





A bundle of thoughts
On a dirty cloth perfumed
To tell you who you are
A bundle of thoughts
On a lonely ghost pursuit
Lost inside the space for this

Raise my arms
Space, wake my eyes
Space, grace my heart

Can I be the space for this
Will I be the space for this
Breathe in, breathe out
Must I bend the sky to realize

Meshuggah: sweat, madness, f'ing metal.

Last evening took me to Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles with Doug, Bones and Toni to see Meshuggah in concert, featuring The Faceless and Cynic. The Faceless, who I'd see play at the Lamb of God concert, was relatively decent, although I find it difficult to get into their music due to the monotonous vocals and the stop-start tendency of their music. Cynic I'd never heard before, and I found their sound to be very unique and interesting; sort of ethereal in a metal sort of way.

The audience was an interesting melting pot of meat heads in wife-beaters, stringy-haired head bangers sporting a metal band of choice on their oversized tees, flannel-attired nerds with shifty eyes darting behind their thick-rimmed glasses, women in mini-skirts and corsets, in black baggy tops and jeans, and in whatever they damn well pleased.

It's one thing to watch a metal show, and quite another to be in the show. I enjoy watching the opening bands from a higher platform; it's a good way to get into the energy of the place and the event. The pit is where it's at though, and after last night, a Meshuggah pit is the place to be to have an insanely out-of-control good time. As soon as we'd made our way down into the pit between sets, I could just feel how crazy things were going to get as soon as Meshuggah came on stage. People were excited before the act; the energy spiked to insanity as soon as drums, guitar, bass and screams rolled. A telling transformation was this guy that I was standing next to: he looked a lot like a hippy, tall and skinny with his long hair in a bun and a trimmed beard on his face, sporting a silk lavender shirt and some tribal-looking necklace. He seemed very laid back initially, almost bored. As soon as the music came on though, he tore his hair-band out so that his hair fell free, flashed double devil horns, and proceeded to be out of control for the rest of the evening.

I've never been in a crazier pit!!! It was totally unreal, and SO much fun! The crowd was surging the entire time, you were constantly fighting to keep your place and to force people away. I definitely ended up lauching a few people there... at one point I had to tame a fro that was a little out of control in front of me. And moshing is always a great time. As a woman, people either shy away from touching you, or they try to absolutely launch you. They don't usually expect to be launched back, though. :) The best is forming your mosh-pit brotherhood where you get props and support from other moshers.

Surprisingly I didn't get many wounds, just a few heads smashed into the back of mine at various points, ringing ears, and a few attempts were made to undo the lacing of my shirt to no avail.

Anyway, it was definitely one of the best concerts I've been to. I've looked at a few live videos on YouTube from various Meshuggah shows, but none encapsulate the madness that was in last night's audience. Here is Bleed though:

Happy February

It's been a few days since I've last updated this thing. I don't have any thoughts in particular on anything, but overall, things are going very well. School is going to be a lot of work this semester, yet I'm going to stay on top of it. Chemistry, Chemistry Lab, Calculus, English, Cultural Anthropology (the last two courses are going to be no problem at all)... It's also a little bit exciting finally taking the actual steps towards medical school as opposed to just talking about it. Action is a fantastic thing.

Yesterday's kettlebell workout was brutal, as was today's. I also just went rock climbing, so the forearms and shoulders are a little bit shot, nevermind the pumped legs. Tomorrow's kettlebell class should be interesting -- bring it on!

I hope the Super Bowl turns out for the majority of you in the way that you want it to. =) All it's meant to me really is that I got to go rock climbing for free tonight because of it -- score.

I started the Warrior Diet yesterday, and thus far things are going quite well. I ate a pear and a handful of raw cashews yesterday during the day to satiate the hunger pangs, and today I had a mango and some raw cashews for the same reason. Last night I had three chicken breasts, tri-tip, spanish rice and beans, some broccoli and snow peas, and a little bit of dessert. This morning I was hungry... it'll take time to adjust. My energy has been good all day until now, and I'm just about to have dinner in the next half-hour anyway. I haven't heard of many testimonials from women on the diet, so I'll be curious to see how it goes. I'll keep updating about that.