Stop, Start, Continue.

I know I've been quiet for quite some time. Regardless of whether anyone reads this or not, I think there's a lot of benefit in getting your thoughts written down on paper -- or typed upon a screen.

My life has been filled with many of the grown-up worries that have plagued most everyone to some degree. I'm also at a bit of a crossroads in regards to what I want to be doing with my life. Isn't that such a ridiculously daunting decision when thought of as a life-time commitment? It's the only life that I know that I've certainly got! I wish I had all of my own answers.

As a result, my training suffered for awhile there. Needless to say, I haven't been getting to the gym every day to do deadlifts, and, for the time being, 400 lbs is going to have to be shelved. Not permanently; just for now.

I made a pact with a couple other RKCs, two extremely strong women, that the next time we were all together at a certification, we would attempt and crush the Iron Maiden Challenge. For those of you who aren't aware, the challenge consists of 1 military press, 1 pistol (one-legged squat), and 1 pull up, all with the 24kg kettlebell.

My two cohorts can do two of these things; me? Currently, I can do none.

And that won't stop me.

This lit the fire under my ass; ever since the RKC in San Diego at the end of August, I've been training 5 days a week, and have been doing a lot of pistols and pull ups, though not as many presses as I should be doing.

When I started training, I was having trouble getting the technique for the pistol down; now, I can do them with a 12kg counter weight. I will definitely have the 24kg before long.

I am able to press the 20kg now, and largely attribute my inability to press it for multiple reps to lack of confidence. I believe it's largely mental. I know it's in me to press the 24kg -- it will be more of a mental battle than anything.

The 24kg pull up will be, by far, the most difficult challenge to overcome. I will need the better part of the year that I think I have before we're all at a certification together again to make this happen.

I'm going to be better about chronicling my progress here. I must be held accountable. Considering Pavel was told about our pact, there's even more reason to give nothing less than my best.

In a lot of ways, I feel I've paused for too long, stagnated too much, in several areas of my life. I feel somewhat defeated, nothing at all like the powerful, inspiring woman that I want to be. I will make it my mission to extend this journey of strength into one of spiritual and mental prowess, as well.