11/07 update

I didn't work out today... I'm feeling pretty tired, and I'm feeling last night's workout. I've been eating pretty well, though. I can say that much.

Had a banana before I ran off to class.
Meal 1: Standard: 4 egg whites, broccoli, tomatoes, 1/4 oatmeal with honey and cinnamon, 1 apple.
Meal 2: Romaine lettuce with apple slices, grapes, blue cheese and grilled chicken.
Snack: 4 soy sausage links.
Meal 3: Organic romaine lettuce, grilled ahi poki, organic tomatoes, 1 piece of Ezekiel whole wheat toast.

And I definitely had 3 bites of Whitney's cinnamon-banana-chocolate chip pancake earlier... ohhh my goodness. I'm so proud of myself for stopping at three, mmm...

On another note. This is my quote of the day:

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” -- Oscar Wilde

I'm constantly reminded that life is a journey in every aspect; there's never any destination. There are plateaus, there are climaxes, there are slumps, yet the process is always continuous. I think on times where I've been completely in my own skin, and have felt solid in every sinew, every thought, every reality, every strength and every flaw. I don't feel that way right now; in fact, I felt lower than I have in quite a long time last night, and did and said some things that I regret. I'll carry remnants from some of those actions.

My intention is to act with integrity, to be solid and trustworthy and always loving. I live with my heart open, and am all the more passionate and excited for life because of it. Yet my fears sometimes manifest in ugly ways. And I don't know which way is up to air and which way is down deeper.

I don't have clarity. There is no easy way... which is not the issue. I can deal with pain, and have. I'm no martyr, but I do not fear pain if it is the path to greater strength and greater gain. I simply don't know the answer. Maybe I don't have enough information yet; I don't know. Patience and self-nurturing are going to be my greatest allies for now, I think. I hope to re-discover some of those riches within myself, and to discover new ones. I've always considered each person to be a world within a world, and always want to learn more about people, particularly those I'm close to. I forget sometimes that the same applies to me.

This is the most I've "talked" in a day! Enough for now. I hope everyone has a lovely evening/day -- and to each of you: be sure to go outside and take a deep breath in to your heart and belly, and dwell on one aspect of this life that you are humbled by and deeply grateful for.

That's all.