On thoughts.

I am overcome by the possibilities of this world. I am in a state of hypersensitivity, where the smell of the fresh, green, just rained-upon earth makes my head swim, and the feel of chilly raindrops on the skin of my upturned palms sends a thrill through my core. And all it takes is simply stopping and listening. How much gets taken for granted each and every moment and millimoment.

I'd love to be always adventuring, constantly exposed to newness and growth in all of its forms, with a haven of familiarity and love to return to each night. I wish I could walk every inch of this earth and show her how much I adore her and want to explore and love every part of her body. I wish I could touch the lives of people everywhere and take away sorrow and pain; I long to help in some drastic way that would assist in turning this world towards healing, rather than destruction. How is it so incredibly difficult for some people to see that we're all one blood, one flesh, and indivisible fibers in the fabric of reality? How can we possibly hate, or long for another person's death? No, there will never be unconditional love for the entirety of the human race; it's rare enough as it is.

What if we always lived with intention, though? No, I can't always be traversing the world, not at this point in my life. Yet who's to say that I can't live with utter fulfillment and excitement for each day? It's one thing to let the current of routine pull you down the waterways of each day, body limp and subject to being battered by unseen obstacles and debris, before you're swept onto shore for the evening where you lay with the discomforts of the day. These wounds were given without your say, certainly; yet the nursing of them is now your responsibility, as was the choice to lay back and allow yourself to be drawn along.

We are all led by this current, there is no escaping that. It is an entirely different affair to choose to swim, to jump from boulder to boulder, than to be drawn along. Yes, you may slip and break a bone, or be hurt in some other way; if you're going to live this though, why not as fully as possible? You may hurt yourself substantially along the way, but you own it, and it was damn worth it. Make everything count! Even if you have to go to school all day, or work, or have a family to take care of, do it all with intention! Make each and every activity your own, and dedicate it to the cause of your own fulfillment, the benefit of someone else, the journey of growth, or anything that drives you. This life is yours to do with as you will; make happiness and love your own, as well.

End ramble. I hope all of you have a lovely day. Do something that moves you! :)





A bundle of thoughts
On a dirty cloth perfumed
To tell you who you are
A bundle of thoughts
On a lonely ghost pursuit
Lost inside the space for this

Raise my arms
Space, wake my eyes
Space, grace my heart

Can I be the space for this
Will I be the space for this
Breathe in, breathe out
Must I bend the sky to realize

Meshuggah: sweat, madness, f'ing metal.

Last evening took me to Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles with Doug, Bones and Toni to see Meshuggah in concert, featuring The Faceless and Cynic. The Faceless, who I'd see play at the Lamb of God concert, was relatively decent, although I find it difficult to get into their music due to the monotonous vocals and the stop-start tendency of their music. Cynic I'd never heard before, and I found their sound to be very unique and interesting; sort of ethereal in a metal sort of way.

The audience was an interesting melting pot of meat heads in wife-beaters, stringy-haired head bangers sporting a metal band of choice on their oversized tees, flannel-attired nerds with shifty eyes darting behind their thick-rimmed glasses, women in mini-skirts and corsets, in black baggy tops and jeans, and in whatever they damn well pleased.

It's one thing to watch a metal show, and quite another to be in the show. I enjoy watching the opening bands from a higher platform; it's a good way to get into the energy of the place and the event. The pit is where it's at though, and after last night, a Meshuggah pit is the place to be to have an insanely out-of-control good time. As soon as we'd made our way down into the pit between sets, I could just feel how crazy things were going to get as soon as Meshuggah came on stage. People were excited before the act; the energy spiked to insanity as soon as drums, guitar, bass and screams rolled. A telling transformation was this guy that I was standing next to: he looked a lot like a hippy, tall and skinny with his long hair in a bun and a trimmed beard on his face, sporting a silk lavender shirt and some tribal-looking necklace. He seemed very laid back initially, almost bored. As soon as the music came on though, he tore his hair-band out so that his hair fell free, flashed double devil horns, and proceeded to be out of control for the rest of the evening.

I've never been in a crazier pit!!! It was totally unreal, and SO much fun! The crowd was surging the entire time, you were constantly fighting to keep your place and to force people away. I definitely ended up lauching a few people there... at one point I had to tame a fro that was a little out of control in front of me. And moshing is always a great time. As a woman, people either shy away from touching you, or they try to absolutely launch you. They don't usually expect to be launched back, though. :) The best is forming your mosh-pit brotherhood where you get props and support from other moshers.

Surprisingly I didn't get many wounds, just a few heads smashed into the back of mine at various points, ringing ears, and a few attempts were made to undo the lacing of my shirt to no avail.

Anyway, it was definitely one of the best concerts I've been to. I've looked at a few live videos on YouTube from various Meshuggah shows, but none encapsulate the madness that was in last night's audience. Here is Bleed though:

Happy February

It's been a few days since I've last updated this thing. I don't have any thoughts in particular on anything, but overall, things are going very well. School is going to be a lot of work this semester, yet I'm going to stay on top of it. Chemistry, Chemistry Lab, Calculus, English, Cultural Anthropology (the last two courses are going to be no problem at all)... It's also a little bit exciting finally taking the actual steps towards medical school as opposed to just talking about it. Action is a fantastic thing.

Yesterday's kettlebell workout was brutal, as was today's. I also just went rock climbing, so the forearms and shoulders are a little bit shot, nevermind the pumped legs. Tomorrow's kettlebell class should be interesting -- bring it on!

I hope the Super Bowl turns out for the majority of you in the way that you want it to. =) All it's meant to me really is that I got to go rock climbing for free tonight because of it -- score.

I started the Warrior Diet yesterday, and thus far things are going quite well. I ate a pear and a handful of raw cashews yesterday during the day to satiate the hunger pangs, and today I had a mango and some raw cashews for the same reason. Last night I had three chicken breasts, tri-tip, spanish rice and beans, some broccoli and snow peas, and a little bit of dessert. This morning I was hungry... it'll take time to adjust. My energy has been good all day until now, and I'm just about to have dinner in the next half-hour anyway. I haven't heard of many testimonials from women on the diet, so I'll be curious to see how it goes. I'll keep updating about that.

Snatch Test

Here's a clip of me doing the Snatch Test for 80 reps with the 16kg. Comments and constructive criticism are welcome! I will say this much: doing snatches on uneven ground on a slight decline is not easy. Get 'er done though.





And although the red is no more--it fades so fast, I got impatient and went to black--here are a couple of pictures of what it was. It will be completely blue next!

LA Fit Expo

I spent this last weekend at the Los Angeles Fit Expo -- what a trip! It's really something else to be around the extremes in the field and to marvel at the huge discrepancy between legitimacy and... well, fake boobs and bloated, hypertrophic tissue that isn't functional. It was a great time though, the energy was definitely humming along the entire weekend. You can have a lot of fun anywhere with just a handful of RKCs around, and if there happens to be a kettlebell or two around, it's all over. I think I swung The Beast 60 times the first day, and snatched the 24 kg 20 times, as well as the 20 kg. Just for fun, of course.

I had the opportunity to talk for a good chunk of time with Ori Hofmekler, founder of The Warrior Diet. I've heard several success stories from men, but haven't heard that many from women, and so I was able to have many of my questions answered. It was so good of him to take as much time as he did to talk with me. At this point, I'm planning on starting the Warrior Diet in the next week or two. More about that later.


I don't have much more to say right now. It was the first day back in school, and it's going to be an interesting semester. It was a fantastic weekend though! Thanks to Justin Garfield for putting everything together! Below are a few more pictures of messing with the Beast for your viewing pleasure.
<--(This kid rocked.)

Hey...

"Did you shave your crotch today? It's the last day for Bush!"

Here we go! Let's make change happen.

Cooked flexors, anyone?

Whew. It's been a forearm-intensive sort of couple of days. Then again, most of the physical activities I do are just that - kettlebells, BJJ, rock climbing, massage. Grip much? No complaints, I love it all, but it can get a little nuts when it's all back-to-back. I went climbing yesterday, and am pleased to be making gradual progressions. I pushed a little too far though, and as a result I totally fatigued my forearms. It just so happened that KB class tonight was a lot of grip-oriented exercises: 5 minutes of TGUs with the 16kg, bear crawls with the 16kg, and a 3-set circuit of swings, 10 - 20 - 30 with 32kg - 24kg - 16kg bells respectively. The arms didn't explode though, which is always a plus, so all is well. It's fantastic, really.

I'm in such a wonderful state of being. I don't remember the last time I felt this happy, nor this content with everything. At the same time, I'm more excited than ever about the future. I feel so grounded and settled in my skin, completely certain of myself, though not carelessly overconfident. I know myself. I feel utterly filled and grateful for everything. Life is so good.

Cheers to all!